Are you an Olympic javelin thrower from New Zealand?
No, that's Stuart Farquhar - ah, I see what you did there. That's a different Stuart Farquhar. We just share the same name. He gets it Tuesdays, Thursdays and Saturdays.
Did Kenneth Williams play you in Carry On Abroad?
No, that's a fictional character. Who couldn't pronounce the name properly. And I had it first.
So how do you pronounce your surname then?
Properly. Pronounce it to rhyme with Parker. If you sound the "q" then I'll start mispronouncing your name and see how you like it.
Where do you get your ideas from?
Read the articles in History Globe and you'll find out.
Hang on, don't writers usually go ballistic when they get asked that question?
Most do but not me. I'm more than happy to answer it. The real trick is getting me to stop.
So why do other writers hate being asked it?
I don't know but I suspect it's something to do with not wanting to admit that they aren't really geniuses who make everything up out of thin air. The truth is that there are only eight original stories and, mercifully, they're all out of copyright.
Why is your ebook only available from Amazon and for Kindle? Why can't I buy it somewhere else or for another platform?
Amazon had a deal that suited me. I get some free promotional tools and in return they get a degree of exclusivity. The ebook will probably be available to buy elsewhere when it becomes more to my benefit. And you can read it on other platforms by downloading the app.
How do I get my book published?
Well, the History Globe article The Creation and Evolution of The Ultimate Dreamer explains how I got my book published... as well as some of the difficulties involved in getting one professionally published. You can try approaching literary agents, publishers, editors and you certainly need to have their resources behind you if you want to have a bestseller and see your book in the high street shops but you have to be very persisitent and prepared for a lot of disappointment. That doesn't mean you'll be unsuccessful but the statistics aren't in your favour. But these days, you don't have to rely on the middlemen. It's quite easy to publish your book by yourself and there are lots of websites like Amazon KDP, Smashwords, Createspace, Lulu etc who will help you to do it. The disadvantage there is that you then have to be your own publicist and getting your book read beyond the circle of people who already know you is very difficult without the resources of a literary agent and publisher etc. Catch 22. (You can't publish that one, someone's already beaten you to it.) Of course, if you're really, really lucky, then your self-published book will take off and/or attract the attention of a literary agent or publisher and then the world's yours for the taking. But the statistics still aren't in your favour. Sorry. But look at me. Am I famous? No, but you're still here. And that's the point. Self-publish and at least your book will be read by somebody. And maybe, eventually, lots of somebodies. And you can still try and get a publisher etc interested if you want. So my advice is: write your book and then just get it out there. What you do with it after that is up to you and how hard you're prepared to work at it. But you wrote the book to be read so do what you have to so that people read it. But what do I know? You should probably ask some famous writers and see what they say. Neil Gaiman has a completely different answer in his FAQ and he knows a lot more than I do. Ask him.
What's the Imaginary Frends page all about, why isn't it spelled properly and why has it been 'coming soon' for months?
Originally it was just a matter of finding time to get all the content together but now it's deliberately being held back until a later date for reasons that will become clear when it finally opens. It'll contain a full history of The Imaginary Frends - including the reason for the misspelling - and hopefully lots of media content.
What does FAQ stand for?
It doesn't stand for anything. It's a word. A faq is a question that websites pretend everyone keeps asking so that they can stop anyone from asking it at all.
No, that's Stuart Farquhar - ah, I see what you did there. That's a different Stuart Farquhar. We just share the same name. He gets it Tuesdays, Thursdays and Saturdays.
Did Kenneth Williams play you in Carry On Abroad?
No, that's a fictional character. Who couldn't pronounce the name properly. And I had it first.
So how do you pronounce your surname then?
Properly. Pronounce it to rhyme with Parker. If you sound the "q" then I'll start mispronouncing your name and see how you like it.
Where do you get your ideas from?
Read the articles in History Globe and you'll find out.
Hang on, don't writers usually go ballistic when they get asked that question?
Most do but not me. I'm more than happy to answer it. The real trick is getting me to stop.
So why do other writers hate being asked it?
I don't know but I suspect it's something to do with not wanting to admit that they aren't really geniuses who make everything up out of thin air. The truth is that there are only eight original stories and, mercifully, they're all out of copyright.
Why is your ebook only available from Amazon and for Kindle? Why can't I buy it somewhere else or for another platform?
Amazon had a deal that suited me. I get some free promotional tools and in return they get a degree of exclusivity. The ebook will probably be available to buy elsewhere when it becomes more to my benefit. And you can read it on other platforms by downloading the app.
How do I get my book published?
Well, the History Globe article The Creation and Evolution of The Ultimate Dreamer explains how I got my book published... as well as some of the difficulties involved in getting one professionally published. You can try approaching literary agents, publishers, editors and you certainly need to have their resources behind you if you want to have a bestseller and see your book in the high street shops but you have to be very persisitent and prepared for a lot of disappointment. That doesn't mean you'll be unsuccessful but the statistics aren't in your favour. But these days, you don't have to rely on the middlemen. It's quite easy to publish your book by yourself and there are lots of websites like Amazon KDP, Smashwords, Createspace, Lulu etc who will help you to do it. The disadvantage there is that you then have to be your own publicist and getting your book read beyond the circle of people who already know you is very difficult without the resources of a literary agent and publisher etc. Catch 22. (You can't publish that one, someone's already beaten you to it.) Of course, if you're really, really lucky, then your self-published book will take off and/or attract the attention of a literary agent or publisher and then the world's yours for the taking. But the statistics still aren't in your favour. Sorry. But look at me. Am I famous? No, but you're still here. And that's the point. Self-publish and at least your book will be read by somebody. And maybe, eventually, lots of somebodies. And you can still try and get a publisher etc interested if you want. So my advice is: write your book and then just get it out there. What you do with it after that is up to you and how hard you're prepared to work at it. But you wrote the book to be read so do what you have to so that people read it. But what do I know? You should probably ask some famous writers and see what they say. Neil Gaiman has a completely different answer in his FAQ and he knows a lot more than I do. Ask him.
What's the Imaginary Frends page all about, why isn't it spelled properly and why has it been 'coming soon' for months?
Originally it was just a matter of finding time to get all the content together but now it's deliberately being held back until a later date for reasons that will become clear when it finally opens. It'll contain a full history of The Imaginary Frends - including the reason for the misspelling - and hopefully lots of media content.
What does FAQ stand for?
It doesn't stand for anything. It's a word. A faq is a question that websites pretend everyone keeps asking so that they can stop anyone from asking it at all.